Soul Flower, Take Me Flying With You

"cuz i want you to be happy even if its not with me"

this type of reply was never intended or wanted. it shouldnt be coming from of you. you are with someone else. and even though you might look happy, i dont want to see you unhappy. sometimes it feels like you do things to keep yourself temporarily happy. shouldnt you want to be happy for more than a couple of hours, days, and weeks?

It's A Small World After All

recently i have been thinking about a certain person, nothing is going to happen though. it could have happened a long time ago, but i let that one slip. he got away, went away and isn't coming back. he gave me a lot of signals that i chose to ignore. i wasnt ready at the time, i dont think i would be ready for him now. he is unlike anyone else i have ever dated. he is different from all my other friends as well. he pushes me and wants me to do better. he encourages me to do my best. i dont see or speak to him as often as i would like to, but i know he is still there if i need him. in actuality, im glad that he is a friend and nothing more. i dont think i could have been anything more to him.

The Way Things Were

things can't be the way they used to be. we all grow up and grow apart. we can try to control how fast we grow apart, but in the end it will still happen. we have prolonged it for a couple years now, but it has finally reached the point where we can no longer avoid it. i like to think of myself as moving forward with my life, where as you seem to be stuck in the same place we left of at. i hope all the best for you, and i hope that you realize that you need to do something with yourself. <3

The Flaws In People

dont get the title of this post wrong or twisted. i have flaws and i am the first to admit to them, but i seem to find the flaws in others more easily (some might call it judgment, and who am i to judge. right?). i feel as if these flaws in people are made by their romanticized ideas of what there life is. for instance, i dont think that being a young mother should be put out there for the world to see (i.e. on facebook, myspace, or twitter). wouldnt you want to keep that private for only you and your family? i honestly dont see the big rush in having babies at the age of 22. why wouldnt you want to enjoy your life? you are young, have fun. i wouldnt want to be 30, and have my son/daughter be 8, and say "i wish i would have done,gone,experienced...." i dont want to say that having babies is a mistake, and wouldnt want anyone to regret it; but if you are having sex and dont want an UNEXPECTED baby...use condoms, birth control, the pull out method? do something. and do something with your life! dont you want to experience life?

Sing-A-Longs

this is my rough draft of singable songs.
1. Chasing Pavements- Adele
2. No Air- Jordin Sparks
3.  - Kelly Clarkson
4. - Taylor Swift
5. - Mariah Carey
6. Dont Speak - No Doubt
7. Simple Kind of Life - No Doubt
8. You Got It Bad - Usher
9. They Dont Know - Jon B

i think i need suggestions, im stuck.

(tobecontinued...)

Two Different Guys, Two Different Situations, One Person That Doesnt Care.

both of my exs are complete and utter morons. both for diff. reasons. one, because he wants his cake and eat it too. and the second, because he gives himself too much credit for my life. one and i have had a rocky history, i did let him get away with alot. on and off but mainly off with. not always being honest, or faithful. two and i havent had that much, but we will always share a common bond. i have been able to remain friends with both because they are a big part of my life. but now, other people being in the picture, (dont get me wrong, im not the jealous type...im just over protective), is making me feel like im losing a part of my life/only with two. one and i are completely done. i have always known what kind of a dog he was, i just wasnt ready to accept it. dogs have flees, please stay away from me. two has this crazy girl that i have never met, but she seems to have this pre-disposed opinion of me. i would really rather not even get involved, but he is my friend first and my ex second. can i try to give him friendly advice without it coming off as jealous, or interested? i dont want him to get the wrong idea. hmmm...it seems that whatever i say wont matter. i just hope not to lose a great friend over a relationship that doesnt seem to be going anywhere.

Change

pen and paper have always been the best way i have been able to express myself, but with the new technology pen and paper dont seem relevant. keyboards and computer screens is where its at. lol. i mainly started this as a webdiary; i dont know who will see this or if whomever does see it, will they even care? ranting is what i like to do. i guess you can say i like to complain, but most of the time i keep it to myself. well, myself and my best. this is my first entry and its a rant about nothing. hmmm, i wonder if in time i will actually have something interesting  to talk about? keep posted, if youd like.